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Blog

Filtering by Tag: partner

Postpartum Sex 101

Chelsea Gonzales

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In the weeks after giving birth, you probably aren’t going to be thinking too much about having sex. Your newborn and a distinct lack of sleep are both responsible for this—but really, it’s just as well, all things considered.

You see, just as you might imagine, intercouse is not usually very comfortable immediately after giving birth. This is true if you gave birth vaginally, of course, but can even be true for those mamas who’ve had c-sections. On top of that, postpartum bleeding can make intimacy quite difficult, and your care provider will probably want you to wait awhile before jumping back into things anyway.

Still, the time will come when you and your partner are ready to get back into the swing of things, so to speak. It’s good to know when you can do so, and what to expect when you do.

Wait It Out

First and foremost, you will need to allow your body to heal a bit. Failing to do so could lead to infection. In most cases, six weeks should be plenty of time. However, in some cases you might need to wait longer. Therefore, it is always a good idea to get permission from your care provider.

Tone Up

While you’re waiting for your time to arrive, you might as well make use of your time by toning up a bit down there. Doing kegels every day will help strengthen your pelvic floor, making sex more enjoyable for both you and your partner when the wait is over.

Not sure how to do kegels? Check out this article to learn how.

Know What to Expect

Even after waiting a full six weeks or more, your body will still be healing. Because of this, and because of hormone fluctuations and physical changes in your body, sex will likely feel different. When you consider what your body went through to bring a baby into this world, this isn't at all surprising. Still, this change in the way sex feels does come as a surprise to some women.

If you go in knowing that things will feel different, at least for a while, and that you might even experience a small amount of discomfort, you’ll be much better off.

Get Protection

Women can and do get pregnant immediately after giving birth. This is even true for breastfeeding mamas. Therefore, unless you want two babies back to back, and unless your care provider has given you the go-ahead to get pregnant again, you will want to ensure you have some sort of birth control before hopping in bed.

Relax and Warm up

Having sex for the first time in weeks or even months might make you feel a bit uptight. This isn’t fun for anyone. Help yourself relax by having a glass of wine beforehand.

On top of nerves, hormone fluctuations can cause women who have just given birth to be quite dry down below. A bit of lube can solve this problem in a jiffy. Add in plenty of foreplay and you should be good to go.

Communicate Your Needs

Don’t be embarrassed to communicate your needs to your partner. If you need to go a bit slower than usual, let them know that. If something hurts or is uncomfortable, put a stop to it. Remember that you can stop at any point if you need or want to.

4 Reasons Your Significant Other Might Want a Doula

Chelsea Gonzales

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There are plenty of articles out there that list reasons for birthing mothers to hire a doula. However, very few of these articles take much time considering the reasons a birthing woman’s spouse or partner may like to have a birth doula around.

This is unfortunate, because while the birthing experience is a deeply personal one, it is also something that your partner likely wants to be a part of. Therefore, it is important to take their feelings into consideration while making preparations for the birth. This does not mean you should allow your partner to pressure you into a negative birthing experience, but it does mean you should listen to what they have to say and consider what your decisions may mean for them.

In this post we are going to examine a few of the reasons your partner may appreciate having a doula during labor and delivery.

#1: Help Getting Involved

Most people don’t know all the ins and outs of the birthing process. Additionally, most significant others will not have experienced birth themselves. This leaves the birthing partner pretty clueless when it comes to helping their laboring loved one.

While birthing classes and plenty of pre-baby reading can help with this problem, they don’t generally include solutions for all scenarios. This is where a doula comes in. Doulas have an enormous amount of childbirth information and experience that can help the birth partner become involved in the process by giving suggestions and explaining various happenings throughout the labor and delivery of their little one.

#2: Assistance When Needed

Even for those partners who are fairly confident in their abilities to support a birthing mama, assistance is always appreciated. Doulas are on standby throughout the birthing process, and they are always happy to help in any way they can.

Therefore, when the supportive partner needs a wet washcloth, or the laboring mama would like something to eat but doesn’t want to be left alone, the doula can offer a helping hand.

#3: Ability to Take a Break

Giving birth is incredibly hard work. However, supporting a laboring woman is also taxing, and while it may not be quite as difficult as actually giving birth, supportive partners definitely deserve some credit. Not only that, but these helpful individuals deserve to have a bit of a break if they feel they need it.

  • Unfortunately, when a loved one is in labor, it can feel insensitive to leave her alone to go find a cup of coffee, use the restroom, or just take a quick breather. This means the partner is often unable to take care of his or her own needs.

That said, this issue can be easily avoided by hiring a doula. Because a birth doula is with the birthing mother throughout her labor, she is able to take over for a tired significant other and give them a short break from time to time.

#4: Peace of Mind

Seeing someone you love go through the labor and delivery process can be stressful. There are many things that could happen during labor to cause worry. However, with the help of a doula, supportive partners can have some peace of mind.

This is because a doula is able to let the couple know when to relax about certain situations that may otherwise seem worrisome. She is also able to offer bits of hard-earned advice no matter what situation may arise. Finally, the partner can rest easy knowing that doulas decrease a woman's chances of having a less-than-satisfactory birth experience by 34%.

These are the top four reasons your partner may appreciate a birth doula. You may use this article to better understand your partner’s point of view, or you may use it to help sway your significant other’s opinions on the matter. Either way, I hope it helps you on your journey to a beautiful birth.